Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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