In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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