Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ugly people sure do ruin things
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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