Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
