wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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