Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He did a backflip because drugs
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
