It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
