Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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