yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
