We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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