I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
