I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm at about main and main street
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
