he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I want her autograph on my taint
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
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