idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well you can't waste a boner
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
