No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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