y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
