his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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