She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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