There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
