Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
