You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
