she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
