i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
