I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
