i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just fell off a train. Bad.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
How external is "for external use only"?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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