Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
