She's JV to your varsity
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
