do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
