you would pick up someone in the library
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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