That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
