i don't like sucking hair
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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