I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i've created a new STD.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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