how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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