We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
