i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
