5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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