the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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