I could have mohawked her pubes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
