The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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