I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
