I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
