He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
