The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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