I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
