Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
