I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
