Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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