i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
