they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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