Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
